Author
It’s almost Halloween. Time for my famous zombie impression!
No zombiezzzzz, make them go way with crossed paws!
That’s vampires you nincompoop!
There’s a difference?
It is a head scratcher.
So which ones come in pods?
None of them! That’s birds! And they’re called eggs!
Oh, good, I can sleep easy then. Birds are delicious.
What?!?
Do you see what I see?
Yeah, holy shit.
Why didn’t anybody tell me birds came in size hammer drill?
Have you seen my monkey? I can’t find him anywhere.*
No monkeys here, but the feather toy is all MINE!
This is not my monkey. Is he down there?
Monkeys are overrated.
Yes, naps are better than monkeys any day.
I has a monkey, and he loves me.
I would also like to have a monkey, but he is out of reach!
Where oh where is my monkey? Is he hiding under this shirt?
Oh well. If you find my monkey, please tell him to come give me pets.
*With thanks to Matt Kuchta, Mandy Little, and Neil Gaiman for guest kitties.
A Bear and Viking may fall in love, but where would they live?
Is this a riddle?
Practical question.
Well then, Massachusetts. Obviously.
From all the cats here at Chez McCullough,
Congratulations my Favorite Bear and her Viking!*
*For them as don’t know it, I’m referring to Elizabeth Bear and Scott Lynch, who are getting themselves hitched here shortly.
Just take the damn picture and let me get back to sleep.
Like dis!
Even looking at that makes me all yaaaaaaaaaaawnie.
You McCullough cats are super lazy.
So, I’ve been thinking about running for president…
We will totally vote for you!
Wait, was that hive full of angry bees?
We’re in too!
That’s like ten pounds of hen of the woods mushrooms.
Well, actually, mushrooms are known for being informed voters.
Wait, who’s the frog voting for?
Fly, my steed! Run like the wind!
That is soooo undignified. Monkeys were made to bring food, not ride.
Also, you can eat them in case of emergency.
I am intrigued by your ideas. Do you perchance have recipes?
You can’t eat monkeys! They bring the duckies!
Also, as noted above, they make epic mounts!
Who needs a mount when you have this excellent frog launching pad?
Why the hell is there a frog in this story? Cats and caterpillars only, man!
I am skeptical of the caterpillar half of that statement…
On second thought, screw it, you do what you have to. Ima take a nap.
Again, thanks to Matt Kuchta, Mandy Little, Neil Gaiman, and Frogdor the Ribbinator for various guest appearances.
Hooray for Friday Caterpillar Blogging!
Da hell?*
This isn’t going to end well…
I like caterpillars. They are delicious!
Dat not so bad.
What about frogs?
Frogs are also delicious!
I would not eat a frog. Not with a dog. Not in a bog.
Only if someone else catches it for me. Because I ain’t amovin.
Man, it’s a good thing cats are so lazy.
Not all cats!
Thanks to Matt Kuchta, Mandy Little, Neil Gaiman, and the Hot Tub Frog for various guest animals.
Froggy went a catting…
Just no.
I’d love to participate in this, but…well, no. Ima just gonna nap here.
I find the entire exercise distate…distava…in poor taste.
You nap-tay-toh. I say nap-tah-to…
Is today the day for the competitive sleep off?
I don’t know, it’s too bright out to check the roster.
I’m going to throw down just in case. 3.2.1. zzzzz….
I call this one Cannonball Z
Dance party and sleep off in one move!
Did someone say dance party?
Oooh, I’m always in for dancing I’ve got the legs for it. 200 of them!
I’ve got the disco floor lit up!
…the hell?
Don’t ask me, I was hired for the sleep off, as a couch…
She’s behind me, isn’t she?
Yeperrrbit!
What the hell is with the frog?
I think something like this…
Cats are sooooooo weird.
She’s behind me again, I just know it.
That’s it, I’m going to watch something really surreal…
Like this Gratuitous Author Cream Pie Sequence:*
Pie with Neil (closed captioned version) from Matt Kuchta on Vimeo.
With thanks to Neil Gaiman, Matt Kuchta, and the ever game Laura McCullough,