Dragon Diaries Part Four

Went to my first Enchanted Forest Board Meeting. Very frustrating. Spent 3 hrs arguing over obviously moot point. Clear who was going to win before debate even started. Final vote came in 74-6.

Must not ated fellow board members. Must not ated fellow board members. Must not…

Fall sun has gotten much lower in the sky. Not hitting cat’s bed anymore. Had to cut bigger window. No. Cat is not spoiled. Just ask cat.

Got note from pointy-face horse that glitter caucus is NOT open to big smelly lizards. Asked valet Weasley to dig out Jumbo book of Unicorn Recipes again. Might be worth the indigestion.

What the hell is this white stuff? It fell from the sky! And it’s cold! Do not want!

Used fire breath to melt white stuff in front of cave. Mistake. Now have giant patch of slippy stuff. Nearly fell on my…cat.

Finally got slippy stuff melted away. Then more of the damn white stuff fell. Thinking about napping till March.

Still cold, and now there’s more white stuff on the ground. Not sure whose idea this was, but I’m totally going to ated them.

Tiamat’s witnesses came to tell how Tiamat is source of all things. Me: “Even the cold white stuff from the sky?” Them: “Yes, all things.” So I ated them.

The white stuff stopped falling. Cat says is a co-oincidence and something about correlation and causation, but not to worry because ateding door-to-door sales-initiates is a good thing anyway.

Ated entire roasted roc. Well, almost. Gave cat the giblets, all fifty pounds. Going to hibernate now. Wake me in spring.

Trollscouts just came to cave selling wreaths & cookies. I ated them. The wreaths and the trollscouts that is. The cookies looked a little dicey.

The wreaths were delicious. I could have done without the trollscouts.

Trollscout troll scoutmaster stopped by to lodge complaint about ateding his scouts, said that was his job. I ated him too.

Much better tasting than the scouts, though I still think the wreaths were the best part of that meal.

Beginning to think Trollscouts just a scam to bring soft and crunchy children in for troll scoutmasters to ated. Am now thinking of forming dragonscouts…

If only I could be guaranteed a better class of scout…or at least a tastier one.

Still thinking about dragonscouts but torn between treating them as snack-packs and teaching them to be good little dragons.

Cat has suggested merit badges in horde-lying, knight-toasting, general ateding, and cat-coddling.

White stuff has fallen from the sky again. Am starting to think there’s some sort of plot—maybe pointy face horse is going to use it as camouflage. Cat is attempting hibernation, perhaps I should join him…

Had board meeting today. Ated someone that disagreed with me. That should solve that problem. Very satisfying.

Cat awake—eight pounds. Cat asleep on my chest—so heavy I can’t get up even though I routinely throw around twenty-to-thirty tons. Bemused.

Have Enchanted Forest Board meeting tonight but there’s SNOW! Dontwanna! Cat curled up by fire. Stupid cat. Stupid meeting.

It got cold. Really really cold. Important-safety-tip-cold. Don’t try to breathe fire when your snot is frozen. Seriously.

HELP! I’m starting to identify with my captor. I just noticed that all the snow and ice is kind of…Sparkly! Sparkly! Sparkly!

Cthulhu carolers just came to the cave door. They’re so cute I almost don’t want to ated them.

Can’t believe it’s nearly Cthulhumas! I haven’t even started shopping and cat is sleeping on the cards so I can’t send them. Mind you, I did tuck them all under the cat bed instead of addressing them, but I’m still blaming the cat.

Looking at all the Cthulhumas lights and now I want to fill the cave with them. Sparkly! Sparkly! Sparkly!

Cthulhumas is tomorrow? #$#%@&$%@#! Sigh, at least it’ll be over soon.

Cthulhumas has arrived. Sitting and looking at the ornaments when I realized I don’t even _like_ squid. Sigh.

Have survived Cthulhumas and mood is rapidly improving. Took ornaments down! Also, ated salesman today AND felt really good about it. “None of this charity of season, please don’t eat me” nonsense to deal with.

Cat brought home funny little machine that turns beans into hot black liquid. It smelled great so I had some. It tasted bitter but SPARKLY! Sparklysparklysparkly!

Cat calls wonderous black fluid “coffee.” It sounds almost as sparkly as it tastes! Coffee! Coffee! Coffee!

Cat also says that I should probably drink a little bit less next time. Cat is wrong. Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!

Getting lots accomplished!. Have now been awake for three straight days! This coffee stuff is the best thing ever!

Day five of coffee binge. Have transcended sleep and achieved apotheosis. Worship me!

Day six of my coffee odyssey. Sleep is an almost forgotten relic of my past. Can taste colors. Am learning fish language.

Day 8 of coffee odyssey. Cat made the most recent pot. It’s not working. Think it might be decafzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


Zzzzzzzzzznork. Whaza? March you say? How the hell did that happen?

My superpowers return. Coffee! Coffee! Coffee! Sparkly! Sparkly! Sparkly! …what do you mean I could always fly, Cat?

Oh, wings, right. Well, bother.

Realized that my coffee odyssey has been entirely in my head. Went outside and found it’s still winter! Back to coffee for me.

Something strange going on with winter out there. Today Tiamat’s Witnesses showed up on dog sled! Had to wade through chest deep snow to ated them. BTW, let dogs go.

Had strange little goat-man show up at cave door looking for a wardrobe full of children. Ated him.

Feeling strangely bad about ateding goat-man. Thought twice before munching on wardrobe full of children. Ated it anyway.

Giant steroidal lion showed up to chew me out about ateding goat-man and the wardrobe children. Ated him, of course. He was delicious. I love being a dragon!

Pale witch-lady came to thank me for eating giant lion and wardrobe children. Offered me job. Don’t need job, but I’d always wanted to ated a witch… Tasted like vanilla ice-cream. Strangest thing though, after I ated her, a warm wind came up from south and the snow started to melt…

So, after the wind came up from the south I had an invasion of talking mice. Cat ated them.

Had Enchanted Forest Board Meeting tonight. Arrrrrgh! Thinking I will be ateding several board members soon as service to community.

More damned white stuff falling from the sky. Cat has suggested we move from Enchanted Forest to Enchanted Tropical Island.

Dragon Diaries Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven. Also, Unicorn Diaries and Dragon’s Cat