Dragon Diaries Part Three

Enchanted Forest Board elections coming up fast. Gryphon opponent ran nasty ad about me so I ated him. Then I got rude questions from reporters about gryphon so I ated them. Really full now. BTW, gryphon tastes like chicken, reporters more like squid. Think it’s the ink.

A gnome replaced the gryphon I ated on the Enchanted Forest ballot. Seems only fair. Turns out I replaced a gnome the gryhpon ated. Am starting to really understand politics.

Thinking about trying pot-pie recipe from pointy-face horse cookbook. Requires unicorn-corer-peeler-slicer for execution. Also unicorn magnet. Wonder where I can get them.

Tiamat’s Witnesses came to door today and tried to get me to convert. Ated them. Tasted awful. Also, roasted whole stack of pamphlets.

Door again. Salesghoul for Beanie Cthulhus. Bought Strawberry Short-Cthulhu, and Rhinestone Cowthulhu. Sparkly!

…Sparkly! Sparkly! Sparkly!

Cat is curled up asleep with beanie Cthulhus—very cute. Unfortunately, is sleeping on wing so I can’t move. Sigh.

Having one of _those_ days. First, stupid pointy face horse pooped rainbows all over front lawn. Then Caveowners Association came by and complained about rainbows. Ended up flaming lawn & ateding CA rep. Cat applauded both.

Fafnir, Fafnir, Bahamut, & Lung, dragons at law offered job again, also help with Enchanted Forest Board election. They “like” the idea of dragon lawyer in government. Who died & left me all this respectability? Seriously missing old lone wolf rampaging dragon image. Maybe need to burn down a couple of castles and carry off some maidens.

In effort to shed growing aura of respectability purchased world’s largest set of motorcycle leathers and painted Hell’s Dragon’s logo on back. Pretty spif actually.

Cat is sleeping on MY leather jacket. Would yank it loose if cat didn’t look sooo cute snuggled in D of Hell’s Dragons logo. Sigh.

Strange day. I seem to have acquired a valet. Werewolf named Weasley “volunteered.” I’ll probably ated him in the morning.

New valet, Crusher Weasley, laid out leathers ever so nicely this morning. Decided not to ated him. Most likely ated him _tomorrow_ morning. Or perhaps the morning after that.

New valet, Weasley, is really working out, though he has some very fixed ideas about wardrobe. Thinks I should ditch new boater. Maybe I should ated him in the morning.

Summer is passing so quickly. I feel like there are million and one people I wanted to ated but haven’t had the time. Sigh.

Saw my first knight in ages He: Foul wyrm, blah, blah, blah…smiting Me: SNACKIES! crunch, crunch, crunch…ateding. Win Dragon!

Cat got me a cake with a princess in it. Ated princess when she jumped out. Then ated cake. Also, cake stand.

This valet thing completely rules. Weasley has started bringing me a bucket of martinis on silver platter right after dinner,plus small jigger of gin and tuna oil for cat. Sooo not going to atedhim in the morning.

How did it get to be fall? Stupid Enchanted Forest Board elections comingup fast and cat says I need to stop ateding constituents for the duration. Humph!

Tiamat’s witnesses came by again. Am starting to think there’s something to this dragon worship thing. Of course, they have wrong dragon, so I ated them. After, cat pointed out they might have been voters. So I pointed out they were door knockers and also delicious. Cat agreed that was probably more important.

Just sent letter to Tiamat’s witnesses asking them to send more missionaries. Want to try new recipe aunt Kayath gave me.

Am thinking of trying vegetarian diet for a week or two to clean out the pipes. No ateding carnivores or omnivores. Aunt Kayath swears by it. She recommends elves only, but that seems a little extreme.

Not looking forward to Enchanted Forest Board elections. Don’t like to lose. But not so sure winning is a win over the long run. Wish I could ated elf that nominated me again. Once wasn’t enough.

Had door-to-door encyclopedia salesman today. Delicious. Wonder if ateding books too will make me smarter?

Learned today that fire breath + head cold + sneeze = flaming snot napalm. Cat is fine but not going to forgive me soon.

Cat is still VERY fluffy today. One little flaming snot incident and it’s big-tail city. You’d think I started the litter box on fire intentionally. It’s not like cat didn’t have time to get out of the way. Maybe if I fetch a fish…

Learned another lesson about dragon colds. Toasted knights! They’re wonderful for your throat—scritchy outside and gooey inside. Oh and great with tomato soup.

Stupid cold. Stupid fever. Woke up to find cat putting kettle on my forehead for tea. I’m not _that_ hot. Threatened to sneeze on litterbox again.

Feeling much better. Have a craving for Tiamat’s witnesses. Perhaps I can stop in at the restau…church and pick up a six-pack.

Cat talked me into flu shot. They used a HARPOON! No, literally, said the salvaged it from an old whaler just for dragons. Painful _and_ humiliating.

Suppose it could have been worse. They could have used pointy-face horse horn.

Cat is asleep on my head. Looks rather like a cute feline mohawk. Especially since cat’s blankie is a purple plushie. Not sparkly. Maybe fuzzy, fuzzy, fuzzy?

Still a tiny bit sick. Was drinking iced tea and sneezed fire down the straw. Burned the tea on the bottom. Love the smoky flavor it created. Will do that again, only without the sneeze part.

Holy $#%@&! I won the Enchanted Forest Board election in a bad year for Ds (News is talking about Dragons, right?) Now what do I do? Stupid pointy-face horse won too and is talking about forming glitter caucus.

Dragon Diaries Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight. Also, Unicorn Diaries and Dragon’s Cat