Jus chillin with my cute self. No cares, no plans.

I have a plan. It involves you.

And it is soooooo evil!

How evil is it?

It’s so evil that I refused to participate.

Holy shit!

That’s pretty evil all right.

Spare cats courtesy of Jim and Stewart and Paul and Rita

Iz dis da real thing? Or is it just fantasy?

Caught in a dish slide

No escape from reality…

Dis don’t sound like Shakespeare…

Because it’s easy come…

Easy go.

A little high, a little low…

Mama just killed a man.

Why did she do it?

Nothing really matters.

Nothing really matters?

Anyone can see.

Stuffing really matters to me!

Spare cat courtesy of Paul and Rita

I iz kitten and unspeakably cute. I make you obsolete. Fear me.

How about if I just eat you instead?

It does look kind of tender and tasty…

Cattibalism is just gross.

It really depends on how you cook them. Take this fire pit here…

Oooh may I take recipe notes?

I don’t care what any of you say, I’m not doing the peeling this time.

Spare cats courtesy of Kim and Jonny and Jim and Stewart and Paul and Rita

I haz plan and it involves delicious delicious vegetables!

There is something seriously wrong with that cat.

Maybe he was raised by wild gourds?

Now, that’s just silly.

Definitely. Everyone knows it’s cabbages that raise lost kittens.

OMNOMNOM!!!

Spare cat courtesy of Kim and Jonny

I cutes, I sleeps with fisses.

I like fisses!

Yeah, but they make your furs stink, and that’s gross!

I sleeps with my stoned buddy.

I sleeps with reckless abandon!

I sleeps, perchance to dream.

Spare cats courtesy of Kim and Jonny and Matt and Mandy

Hallooo, I are a cat, plz show me yr fud bowls!

I’m dubious.

Don mak me laze you wit my deth eye!

That is SERIOUSLY not okay.

I got dis. I deths it from above!

Y’all knock yourselves, I’m going stay here on the nice warm X-Box.

Ah, my salad days, when I was green in judgement, cold in blood…

Cats DO NOT eat salad.

But sometimes you just have to stop and sniff the…cat? ???

What’s black and white and dumb all over?

Look, I’ve got sunscreen, a pair of shades, and some…test strips? The hell?

Spare cats courtesy of Kim and Jonny and Matt and Mandy

Jeeves “Dignity and Grace” McCullough, why do you ask?

Nobody asked.

My middle name is Mischief!

Nobody asked?

Also, Poise and Good Judgment!

Um, I seem to have misplaced my forelegs, can we focus on that?

I command the banning of all kittens from this space!

So let it be written, so let it be done.

Finally.

Our long national nightmare is over…zzzzzzzzzzz

I second that zzzzzzz, and call the question. Zzzzzzzzz

JAWS theme