Kelly McCullough

Pardon me, have you heard the good word about dog?

Oh, HELL NO!

I’m listening.

I’m not. Not listening, that is. NOT listening.

Do you ever get the feeling that we’re not alone in the universe?

Well, there are the thumb-monkeys, created to bring us treats.

Not enough treats.

Never enough.

Am having hard time choosing; left or right?

Why not both?

Devilcat.

From here in the blind we are observing the rare cattus goofus maximus.

Both was a bad idea.

I can’t believe he actually did it.

Dullest rave ever!

Here, let me bust a move!

Bust a move? Srsly? What is this, 1989?

Speaking of 1989: U Can’t Touch This!

They’re here!

Great, ask them to fetch me a sammich.

I don’t think they’re that kind of they…

Then, what good are they?

“Good” is not on their agenda!

Screw that, then. Wake me when they’re gone.

I got legs, and I know how to use them…

You mean for walking, right?

Somehow, I don’t think that’s where he was going with that.

I got legs too. Now, if I can just get them untied…

That’s sooooo not okay.

Prude!

So, I sez to the guy, I sez…

She’s talking to the gargoyle again, isn’t she?

Yep.

I iz still cat loaf!

Do you see what I have to put up with?

Maybe she’s talking to the little lizard…

…………………………………Huh, well that’s fine then.

For me? You shouldn’t have!

They didn’t. You only came by it because of an unhappy chance!

It could have been mine.

It should have been mine.

I iz still a loaf!

We will have it my precious, oh yes, we will have it.

I iz perfectest cat loaf ever.

Nope. That would be me.

There is something wrong with those boys. I don’t know why we kept them.

That’s what I said about you.

I see what you did there.

I sink, therefore I am.

No. Just. No.

Man, I never get to have any fun. Jeeves always gets the good lines.

I do. Oh, I do.