Kelly McCullough writes fantasy, science fiction, and books for kids of varying ages. He lives in Wisconsin with his physics professor wife and a small herd of cats. His novels include the WebMage and Fallen Blade series — Penguin/ACE, School for Sidekicks, Magic, Madness, & Mischief and the forthcoming Spirits, Spells, & Snark — Feiwel and Friends/Macmillan. His short fiction has appeared in numerous magazines and anthologies. He also dabbles in science fiction as science education with The Chronicles of the Wandering Star — part of an NSF-funded science curriculum — and the science comic Hanny & the Mystery of the Voorwerp, which he co-authored and co-edited — funding provided by NASA and the Hubble Space Telescope. Kelly on Twitter, Facebook, G+, ello

Monday Meows

May 22, 2018 in Cat Things, Friday Cat Blogging, Pets and other friends

Is this psychedelic, or is it just me and the mushrooms?

Dude, step away from the hallucinogens

I don’t think it’s just him…

Guys, it’s definitely not not real…I think.

Halp, I’m trapped in someone else’s hallucination!

It’s just a big fabric thingie. Chill. Have a drink and…what’s that?!

A big fabric thingie, duh!

Oh, hell no!

Why? I think I’m in love…

Monday Meows Cat Blogging

May 15, 2018 in Cat Things, Friday Cat Blogging, Pets and other friends

Fiends, morons, contrarymen, I come to salad Caesar not to braise him

I love this speech!

The devil batmen livers are far from home;
The goal is oft scored with their bones;
Let the poor Bard rest in piece, dude.

So lettuce eat with Caesar. The noble butters
Hath told you Caesar was delicious:

I can’t take any more, I’m going over the wall, man.

Fly you fools!

If it were salad, it was the grooviest food,
And grooviously hath Caesar saladed it.
Oh, death, where is thy sweet sting?

Hey, if I mount the rostra, will I be inspired too?

I’m afraid not little buddy, alas. It takes true inspiration to emote.

Bummer.

Monday Meows

May 8, 2018 in Cat Things, Friday Cat Blogging, Pets and other friends

I’m busting us out of here. Cue the Mission Impossible Theme.

Duh-duh-duhna! Duh-duh-duhna!

Daring traverse sequence!

Duhna-na! Duhna-na!

Okay, moving on to the next dramatic posed shot.

Uhm, guys, I thought you liked it there…

He’s got a point.

Shut up, I’m heroing!

Actually now that he mentions it…

Yeah, my brother’s got a point.

Always.

Look, I’m going to…there’s screen up here too. Little help, guys?

Hush…I’m Batman!

Monday Meows

April 30, 2018 in Cat Things, Friday Cat Blogging, Pets and other friends

What’s that? Okay, I do it!

I’m touching your head!

This isn’t going to end well.

Naw, he’s got dis in bag. With me. I think…

Exactly, the boot told me to do it.

Dis too.

I’ll boot you!

Is okay, I still love you!

Monday Meows

April 24, 2018 in Cat Things, Friday Cat Blogging, Pets and other friends

Wait, was that the Shakespeare Signal!

To entertain these fair well-spoken days,
I am determined to prove a villain

Ooh, I know dis one!

Now is the waiter of our disco tent reindeered glorious jerky!

That boy ain’t right.

Hey, now, my brother is as right as me.

We’re all fine here! FINE!

HEY GURL

I was just leaving!

Excellent, now back to the chase!

Plots have I laid, inductions dangerous…

Oh ghods, wake me when it’s over.

Never reject your own story

April 23, 2018 in Publishing, Reblogging Project

(Not sure why but this post from the reblogging project seems to have vanished)

I was having an online conversation today that made me reiterate one of the fundamental rules of selling your fiction—Never reject your own story. That’s the editor’s job. Too many times a writer will look at a story and decide one of three things:

A, this is a disaster and I can’t send it out.

B, this story isn’t the right sort of story for ________ (fill in the high end market of your choice).

C, this story is perfect for __________ (fill in the low end market of your choice).

In all three cases, the story never makes it to whatever is the writer’s dream market, thus guaranteeing that it will never be published there. But, for the cost of postage and a little time the writer could give the editor the chance to do the job of rejecting the story if it doesn’t work for them, or maybe, just maybe, buying that story.

Look at it this way:

When a writer pre-jects a story for an editor:
—The worst case scenario is that they don’t sell to dream market x.
—The best case scenario is also that they don’t sell to dream market x.

When a writer lets the editor make the decision:
—The worst case scenario is that they don’t sell to dream market x.
—The best case scenario is that they do sell to dream market x.

Never reject your own story.

(Originally published on the Wyrdsmiths blog September 10 2006, and original comments may be found there. Reposted and reedited as part of the reblogging project)

Monday Meows

April 16, 2018 in Cat Things, Friday Cat Blogging, Pets and other friends

Hey Jeeves, watch me pull a cat out of this basket!

That trick never works.

Depends how many of these you take first.

I am gonna give that boy such a smack…

I like smacks, especially if dey tuna flavors!

Your brother is not the brightest bulb on the tree.

You don’t say.

I like trees! Dey fun to climbs. I wrap my paw arund dem like dis!

That’s it. Ima smack some brains into you.

I like smacks! Bring me da tuna ones. Kay?

It’s like talking to a damn dog, I swear.

Monday Meows

April 9, 2018 in Cat Things, Friday Cat Blogging, Pets and other friends

Once more unto the beach deer fiend!

No. Just, no.

Or fill dis bucket up with our Catish fud!

What did Shakespeare ever do to you?

Like the bro’s conman; let tea brew & o’erwhelm us
Since I cannot prove a lover, I am determined to prove a villain
Oh ghods, now his brother is doing it too…

Cry ‘Good old barfy catfud, and stain rugs!’

Mine was better.

Not listening.

 

Monday Meows

April 3, 2018 in Cat Things, Friday Cat Blogging, Pets and other friends

Fart, what wind through yonder lighthouse breaks!

Oh no, he’s at it again…

Tis the beast and chariots do run!

Do run, run, do run, run. Or better yet, don’t.

Arise, fair spoon, and scrape this envious dish,

Wake me when it’s over.

It is my jerky, O, it is my nom!

Wait, did you just jump ahead like six lines?

You don’t expect him to start making sense now, do you?

She speaks yet she says nothing: what of that?

Okay, that’s like the actual quote. There’s something wrong here.

Ay me!

Okay, that’s it, you’re done now. Don’t make me come in there…

O, claw again, cat angel! for thou art
vainglorious to this night, being o’er my head

DONE. NOW.

With thanks to Matt and Mandy for the loan of the extra cats.

Monday Meows

March 27, 2018 in Cat Things, Friday Cat Blogging, Pets and other friends

Tell me a scary story.

How about napping with monsters?

Dat’s pretty scary!

Hold me.

You’ve got to be kidding.

I know what’ll scare her…

You. Corner. Now.

Fine.