Author
I’ve been playing a lot of Halo lately.
I don’t think that’s quite the same, my dude.
Shhh, if he figures out electronics he’ll want his own phone next.
I gets it. See dis my zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzoom meeting.
Guys, being the dimmest bulb on the tree is my gig. Lay off.
Paws for thought?
Toes are my pawses. Shove off.
Ooh, he’s deep.
Hip deep, maybe.
Laugh track in 3.2.1…
Is that a paws make tracks joke? Because, if so, I quit.
I’m doing hard time here.
I’ll play you a lament if I can pick up the world’s smallest violin here.
I understood that reference!
Russian Judge (Red Guardian) gives your joke three of four paws down.
I’m in hell. I’m literally in hell.
I’m auditioning to be library lion!
Lion? You? Srsly?
No, I think he’s got this.
The only lion he’ll ever be is lyin’ around.
Please sir, do not put my laundry in the machine. It’s done no harm.
Why is he protecting the laundry?
You REALLY don’t want to know.
My favorite blanket is in there. I call her…Eileen.
That is so not okay.
You hadda ask.
Hey now, don’t kink shame.
Witness my meta commentary on the usual success of author insertion.
Meta-shmeta, that’s just pandering.
Also, kinda gross. Do you know where that cat butt has been?
Ewwwww!
Not engaging. Happy place, happy place, happy place.
The cats on the vortex go ’round and ’round…
“Wheels” on the “bus,” dammit!
Ball in the track, if you please!
Why do I never understand what’s going on around here?
We didn’t want to tell you, but…well, you were dropped on your head as a kitten. Repeatedly.
You take that back!
Fiends, Ronams, Countymen, Lend me your paws!
Oooh, I think it might be time to develop a drinking problem.
You’re not wrong.
I have no problem. I drink, I fall down, I sleep, it’s basically the state motto.
Why are your paws spinning? Or…is that just me?
Are you glass-ighting me?
That boy ain’t right.
I think this is more of a roses are red violence is blue thing.
I am tangled up in blue.
And I am tangled down the same.
Hey, can somebody pass me the remote? I’m still full from xmas dinner.
Give Jeeves control of…anything?
Absolutely not.
Agreed.
The damn thumb-monkey, tried, but I’m teaching him better choices.
