Author
You bastards went to the Caribbean without me again?
I hate it when they do that!
I will make you pay thumb-monkeys. I will.
I’m in. What are we doing? Barf in the bed? Itching powder?
I have this one pinned, now what?
I’m trying to tear this one’s arm off, but man they’re big suckers.*
*Guest cat courtesy of Levi/Lindow house.
About damn time you woke up thumb-monkey—I want breakfast!
Dude had a book out, chill. You know he’s not much of a morning monkey.
Book launch does not mean thumb-monkey gets a pass on his duties.
I think he should bring us breakfast in bed as penance.
Man, cats are sooo demanding. Look what he accomplished this week.
I am not a cat, I am a book rocket. Fly me!
My newest book, SCHOOL FOR SIDEKICKS, launches today. Both figuratively and literally…
ETA: The extended rocket launch below the other videos:
More silly launch videos are on the way as soon as we can get them edited, so watch this space. In the meantime, here are a couple of notable reviews for the novel: Kirkus. Publisher’s Weekly, and an excerpt.
If you order before the weekend, you can get a signed and customized copy from Uncle Hugo’s where I will be signing on Saturday, and, of course, the book may be purchased at all the usual venues: Amazon, Barnes And Noble, Indiebound, BAM, Powells…
Launch Events:
On August 4th at 7pm at the Har Mar Barnes and Noble in Roseville MN, I will be reading and signing.
On August 6th at 3pm EST (2pm CST) I will be doing a reddit Ask Me Anything
On August 8th at 1pm I will be signing books at Uncle Hugo’s in Minneapolis MN. You can order in advance and have me custom sign things and then they will ship them to you, if you’re so inclined.
Also my short story The Totally Secret Origin of Foxman: Excerpts from an EPIC Autobiography, is up at Tor.com where you can read it for FREE!
What dis?
The butler appears to have written a book… Say: out Aug 4th.
At least he knows something about sidekicking. Also, fairly comfortable.
Not very good at skritching ears though, 2 stars from kitty judge.
For more info on the new book and my launch events see the post below.
My short story The Totally Secret Origin of Foxman: Excerpts from an EPIC Autobiography, is up at Tor.com where you can read it for FREE!
This is the first public taste of my School for Sidekicks universe which launches at novel length on August 4th with School for Sidekicks. Here are a couple of reviews for the novel: Kirkus. Publisher’s Weekly.
In related news, I will be doing a number of launch events:
On August 4th at 7pm at the Har Mar Barnes and Noble in Roseville MN, I will be reading and signing.
On August 6th at 3pm EST (2pm CST) I will be doing a reddit Ask Me Anything
On August 8th at 1pm I will be signing books at Uncle Hugo’s in Minneapolis MN. You can order in advance and have me custom sign things and then they will ship them to you, if you’re so inclined.
I are totally a cat!
No, you are most certainly not.
Now am I cat?
You have got to be kidding.
Kitty!
I don’t even know what that is.
Nope. But this is a cat. I give it the smooch of approval!
Ewwww!
Okay, that’s it, I’m leaving!
I would leave, but the thumb-monkeys got me and I’m super happy.
Sucks to be you dude.
Y’all are sooooo strange. Ima hang out here in mah magic box.
Thumb-monkey, are you ded?
Wait, you kiss your monkeys? That’s soooo gross!
We do not speak of such things.
I kiss my foot. I tastes much better than monkey!
Ennui, I haz it about monkey kissing…and everything else.
m
Kitty eyebrow raising tool still in need of refinement.
That’s not normal…
My client is guilty, guil—wait, I iz barrister for defense?—innocent!
What is it with cats?
I envy your big green box…
Wake me up when box gets to Detroit.
I can’t believe this is the material I have to work with.
I blame Lee Harris…
A couple months ago, Tor.com editor Lee Harris emailed to ask me to be on a game show panel at CONvergence 2015. It was called Ready, Steady, Flsah! and it involved a bunch of professional writers being given themes and five minutes to write a complete flash fiction piece. I was terrified, but agreed to give it a go. Today was the day with Carrie Patel, C. Robert Cargill, Paul Cornel, Melissa Olson, and me. The winner of a round got two points, the second place finisher got 1, the other players got zippo. I went in with the expectation of crashing and burning, but doing it with style. Here are my stories (as they were written, typos and all) and scores for the game. ETA: Carrie Patel has now posted her pieces as well.
1st round. Theme: Reanimation.
There once was a dragon named Fred
Who devored a unicorn undead
Each bit that he ate
He did munch and masticate
Until he finished the undying spread
Then when he finished
He felt dimineshed
Until the unicorn reborn
Came forth from the dragon’s own horn
Unicorn retruned from beyond and within
Score 0
2nd Round. Theme: Steampunk Romance.
A steampunk romance
All those fancy gears and wheels
Leather and lace- clothes at a fabulous pace
Bronze and brass I’ll take a pass
The real romance of steam comes from the mirror
I’m too pretty for anything that might muss my polish
I’ll keep my romance in the box with my goggles that only look inward
Score 0
3rd Round. Theme: Little People.
The little people that live in my head write all the stories that fall out of my fingers. Tragically, they work best in the hours of the night when sleeping is on my list. So, when dreaming is my agenda I too often find myself staring at the ceiling and wishing the little people in my head were diurnal rather than nocturnal in their focus and feelings. As a writer my insomnia is my bread and butter. I cannot ask the little people to let me sleep…most of the time.
Score 1 (!)
4th Round. The audience came up with the theme on this: Uncle Sam’s Day Off, and they also supplied us with a word to be used in the story: Cocaine.
Cocaine! Uncle Sam’s favorite firework. There was nothing that the dirty old man liked to do more on the 4th than kick back with his feet up on South America and snort a line that lit his head up like the bombs he exported on his days on.
Score 2 (wiktory!)
I tied for 2nd overall with Paul Cornell at 3 points each. Carrie Patel, the victor had 4.
Look, I iz cat. You can tell by the fact I’m not actually doing anything.
Your thesis sounds interesting, may I subscribe to your podcast?
I iz doing something! This afghan almost blew away before I sat on it.
Dis cushion too! Iz hard job holding down human size cushion.
What are you all on about now?
Brief interlude with a leaf.
I am too noble for this skit. I will simply expose my profile for admiration.
