Kelly McCullough

Hep, I’z trapped innnna corner!

Good luck with that.

Sure, you laugh now, but he really can’t get out on his own.

I’z dreamin of royaling it up innnna parade! Elbow elbow, wrist wrist…

Do you want to see the back half of a cat?

No, absolutely not.

Then you get front half with a blep!

I’m surrounded by idicats!

Zzzzzzzzzzzz

Look at me!

The fuck was that?!

Birb! Really big birb.

I’z hidin’ so it no eats me.

Chill, my dude, iz not that kind of birb.

Okay then, nap party over here!

Hold it still so I can hit it!

Yeah, I’ll get right on that. Zzzzzzzz

But what if it’s a…squirrel?!

Don’ mess with skwirl, man, they rip you up.

Toed you so!

The hell?

Back of cat says what?

Wut?

I’ll just be over here with the saner members of the household.

Monkey, there is a BIRD in the eaves. DO SOMETHING!

Wait, are we complaining to management again? My pillow need fluffin.

Also, I’d like someone to turn up the sun again, it’s fading.

I just feel cold and alone. Fix pleaz?

Backup on the 35!

I hate summer traffic!

………………………………Says the tailgater!

C. A. T. Not, C. A. R. Get a grip.

I grips head with ear! Iz good, yaz?

Y’all sort it out without me.

I’z not ket, i’z pillow.

What the hell? You’re not bringing another one home are you?

Chill, it’s always guest cat season. Only worry if you recognize background.

I recognize soup!

Why do I always feel like I have no idea what’s going on around here?

Do you hear that sound?

It’s the fruit flies buzzing around in your big empty skull.

I have fruit flies in my head?!

Of course, what did you think that buzzing was?

That’s just mean. You know he’s going to believe you.

Mean, yes. True, maybe. Funny? Well, that’s in the eye of the beholder.

So, I couldn’t find a soapbox, but I’m not about to let that stop me.

Speech?

Speech.

Wake me up when she’s done.