Category: Pets and other friends

Did somebody mail order a box of condensed evil?

That would be me.

By the floofing of my tail something wicked this way mail.

How about a box of goofball?

I can work with that too.

Excellent.

Call me Fishmeal!

Oh, ghods and monsters, he’s off again.

Serval ears ago – never mind how long prehensily

To be fair, he’s always off.

Says the cat carrying on a romance with a garden sculpture…

Having little or no money to parse, and noting particular interest in shore

Okay, you might have a point there.

Shuts I’z recitins!

Sadly, yes.

I thinked I’d sails about a little to see the whatevery parts of the world.

It’s like a train wreck, but without the cute bits.

Tis a way I haz of driving off the spleen—bad spleen, go wayz—

Also it regulates the circumcision.

I don’t think that word means what you think it means.

Whatvers. I finds self growing grime about the mouth in a…

damp, drizzly November of the soul

Okay, that’s it. You’re done. Everyone can go home now. Bye.

Nothing. No reason. Why do people keep asking about “evil” plans?

Surely, you can’t be serious.*

She’s a tortie, we are always serious, and don’t call us Shirley.*

Really. That’s the line you’re going with?**

Define “evil”, because I’m a little hazy on the whole good/evil thing.

Imagine every atom in your body exploding outward at the speed of light.

No, silly, that’s good/bad.*

I’m bad, I’m bad come on. You know I’m bad!

And, with that communique from Planet Jeeves, we conclude our broadcast.

 

*Extra (super-adoptable) kitties via Tabby’s Catfe

**Except for this dude. Bob Meowerly got his forever home already.

Dis cat bed is kind of pointy and uncomfortable. I’z confuzzed.

I can’t believe he’s my brother.

Really?

Really.

Me and the evils I hang with are judging you.

Always remember dance like wherever you goes there you iz!

Adopted. I swear.

Our love is a sacred thing.

Pretty sure that’s a rock.

Nope. This is a rock. A big ‘un too.

I don’t thin there were any cats in that picture at all.

I’m calling a meeting of the Committee for Feline Domination.

Sorry, napping. Can’t come.

I smell betrayal.

Nope. Naps take precedence. It’s in the charter, dude.

 

Hey gurl…

No, dude. It’s, “hey girl…” in a completely non-awkward way, like this.

Yeah, that’s not awkward at _all_.

Nope. This. This is awkward.

So is this.

Yep. Totally awkward.

………..You got that right.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I see what you’re doing down there.

We weren’t doing nothing.

Sure, I believe you.

Do you believe them?

I think not.

I don’t even know what we’re supposed to have done…

Nothing. No Reason. Certainly not this.

Have you ever really looked at your wrists?

 

 

 

I did it, and I’m glad I did it, see.

Backing away slowly…

It’s mesmerizing…

Amateurs.

Inorite?

We interupts dis program for defffs from avbove!

Dude, learn to spell.

That’s going to happen.

Time for post-defffs from avbove! napage.

Monkey Hammock!

Because that’s not disturbing at all.

I know I won’t be unseeing it any time soon.

Unseeing what now?

M o n k e y H a m m o c k! Does no one pay attention around here?

Okay, that is a bit off.

So was the Hindenburg.

Oh the huge manatees!

What, have you been taking Jeeves lessons?

Monkey, make me a drink.

On it.

Wait, what’s with the fire?

EVIL! That’s what.

I like evil.

Me too.

It was a GOOD drink, Ima nap here on the remote.

Smell the paw…it smells like…freedom. ………Wut?

    o