Category: Cat Things

Five cats, three chairs, one porch, zero fighting. WIKTORY!

You smell like five cats…gross!

But one of us is SUUUUUUUPER SEXY!

Get off my damn lawn…porch…whatever.

Did someone say get off on the lawn?

I can’t believe he went there…said the Pillars of the Catgonath

I believe it. He has a low and vulgar sense of humor.

Was that a tiny black harp seal?

No. It was a walrus in feline form. Let me explain it in interpretive dance…

What the hell is wrong with you!

Guest appearance thanks to Scott Lynch, Neil Gaiman, and the concrete cat my mother got me.

 

 

 

Still life with catnip and catnap

Duuuuuude, the nip… I can’t feel my thumbs. Wut? I don’t have thumbs? Duuuuude!

Duuuuuuude!

If iHad thumbs iWould iPad

I ated my thumbs

Thumbs! Why did it have to be thumbs? I mean toes, I could do, or even borrow…

Where is your dignity. You’re cats! Dignity, grace, muppets!

Tents! Can’t forget the tents.

I don’t get cats. Not even a little bit

With thanks for various guest appearance, Mike, Sandy, Jodi, Scott Lynch, and for art Matt Kuchta.

I have catnip and you don’t!

Coconut has catnip and I don’t!

Woe and wurra, I have no catnip!

Dude, where’s your dignity?

I haz a dignity.

I’m surrounded by idiots.

I’ve been trying to intimidate this cat for hours…

That thing is still here!

I am robbed of the will to lift my head without technology.

If I hides in ball maybe it goes away…

Still not amused by this whole “loaner cat” thing you’ve got going on right now…

Just believe in the nip and it’ll all be all right… Mmmm, nip…

Back to back against the evil one? …and done!

Cats, why did it have to be cats?

Dude, we are totally a cat buddy film!

But, something wicked this way comes…

Is this where y’all keep the catnip?*

…the hells was that?!?

INTERLOPER!

You will regret this intrusion into our routine, oh yes, you will regret it.

I will kill you in your sleep.

What happened to my buddy film?

*Scott Lynch’s giant war cat is here for a visit whilst Mr. Lynch takes a turn on the continent.

Do I have a bug on my nose?

That’s kinda gross.

I like bugs!

I like woodpeckers. They’re deeelcieeeeous.

I’m delicious too.

I’m the bowling ball on the stretchy stuff of the universe!

Entire train of kitty WTF on the bowling ball thing!

The cats go round and round and round…

Some of them go rounder than others…

Some of them just roll back and forth.

Others only roll their eyes.

While others roll themselves into a wee little ball.

Did I mention the bit about rolling their eyes.

And some times they roll-play dogs…

Kitty runs aground and dreams of what?

Comfy beds?

Or perhaps fancier things…*

Wait, what now?

Kitty Groucho Marx Outfit? Hmm, that’s…ridiculous is what that is. Ridiculous!

*with a belated hat tip to Matt Kuchta for his cat-channeling additions to the shopping list

What the hell is that?

Mancat!

Now that’s funny.

No, that’s disturbing.

Hairball!

Hey, thumb-monkey, this bird tv stuff is pretty cool. I want to eat that one!

Wait, what now?

Ooh, delicious delicious birdies. But I prefer blueberry.

Excuse me?

Oooh, now I’m drooling…

All right, that’s it. Hey, Bob, the cats are getting uppity.

Yeah, well what are you gonna do about it, bird? Birds against cats, that won’t end well.

Not for the cats, anyway…

I didn’t even know they made birds that big…

You know, maybe we should reconsider this whole birds vs. cats thing… Votes?

I vote to remain an indoor cat and leave the birds outside.

Nobody expects the FUZZYGATOR!

With thanks to Neil Gaiman, Michael Levy, Sandy Lindow, Mathew Kuchta, and Mandy Little for the extra fuzzies.