Category: Cat Things

Is it just me or is this gravity poorly adjusted?

I’m ready, I have feathers!

I’m not quite sure that’s how it works…

I am going to cling to the thumb-monkey just in case.

In proper cat household, thumb-monkey clings to you.

I think I will cling to this plate of tuna.

With thanks to Matt, Mandy, and Neil for the extra cats.

All right, we’re taking over this cat blogging thing, back me up.*

On it.

………………………………………………………………………I like scratching!

Oh, this is gonna end well…

We will conquer!

Ja, right. Watch dis.

I will defend the honor of mah kittehs to the death!**

Glad you’re on that man, because it’s my nap day.

Da boss says I gotta climb you, monkey.

That’s not how you climb a monkey.

THIS is how you climb a monkey.

Dammit, coup foiled and exiled to the bathroom. AGAIN.

*The Invaders courtesy of Matt and Mandy

**Thanks to SMM Photography for the kitty hero shot.

Hey, Dude, I think your snowblower needs a tune up.

The hell was that?

Woodchuck.

Groundhog.

Whistlepig.*

…the hell?

I think that was my monkey.

Really? Looks like a frog to me.

See.

Wait, was that cat made out concrete?

Wood.

*Thanks to Kim and Jonny for numerous contributions to the surreality.

What do we want?

Opposable thumbs!

When do we want them?

Zzzzzz

…I mean: Yesterday at the latest!

How will we get there?

Irresponsible genetic manipulation!

Who is best?

Mad scientists!*

*Nota Bene Spider:** some prefer to be called evil genius

**Why did you think the asterisk was shaped that way?

Monkey, I’m not in the sun. Move me.

Srsly? That’s lazy even by cat standards.

Hey, learning to levitate is suuuper tiring. Back off!

I can “levitate” too. See.

What is wrong with you cats? You’re embarrassing the species.

Oh, the drama! Oh woe! Oh wurra!

I’m rolling my eyes. Can you see me rolling my eyes?

I can.

Who the hell are you?

Just a squirrel on a porch swing, hangin’

I know what to with squirrels. Get in my mouf.

That’s it. I’m out of here.

Four cats can get along in a small space if one of them is concrete.

Did you just call me stoned?

I hate you so much.

I hate squirrels.

I’m a squirrel. Don’t hate me because I’m adorable and you’re a cat.

I summon the dark forces of feline angst to smite thee, red one.

Want to see a joke? It’s really funny. Watch!

I gave her the tuna kit. Hee!

That’s cruel.

And NOT funny.

Knocked me ded.

I thought it was funny.

You are WRONG! Not getting tuna is NEVER funny.

Forget the jokes, how do I get da fissies?

Guest cats by M&M and N.

 

You’re not my real monkey and I don’t have to do a thing you say.

True, but it might have food!

Food is good.

Food is insufficient reason to acquiesce to monkey hegemony.

I don’t know monkey hegemony is working okay for me so far…

Monkey hegemony is boring. Really really really boring.

But it comes with BELLY RUBS! So, is all okay, yes?

With thanks to the usual suspects for letting me put words in the mouths of their cats. See also: Matt, Mandy, Neil.

Plotting to get someone else to take over the world for me.

That seems like a lot of steps…

You don’t expect me to do any of the actual work myself, do you?

Good point, world conquest is a lot of work.

And work makes me all zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

That’s why the towelphants will win in the end!

We have their king, soon we will rule the world of cats!

I think you may be confusing cats with underpants gnomes…

There’s a difference?

You’re not serious, right?

Nope, I’m a hummingbird!

You know what will clear that right up?

This!

Now, THAT’S cat humor!

INORITE!?!