Wisconsin Nov 6th…

November 6, 2016 in About Kelly, Silly

Me And My Creative Brain: A Dialogue.

September 26, 2016 in About Kelly, Kelly Vs. Morning, Silly

Brain: Ooh ooh ooh!
Me: What? It’s three in the morning.
Brain: I figured out the whole unicorn thing.
Me: What? The? Hell?
Brain: No, it’s great.
Me: It’s not great, it’s three in the morning.
Brain: No, I’ve got this.
Me: All right, It’s obvious you won’t let me sleep. Tell me.
Brain: *assuming an erudite English accent* It’s the equinox!
Me: …the hell.
Brain: *in accent* You see, the mistake is easy. Vernal instead of virginal. Right?
Me: *blinking* Not sure where you’re going with this…
Brain: *in accent* And equinox. Equi meaning center and nox…well, it doesn’t mean horn, but it sounds like ox and oxes have horns. Easy mistake.
Me: *in accent* First, it’s oxen…oh gods, now I’m doing it.
Brain: *in accent* See! It makes perfect sense. Vernal equinox and virginal unicorns.
Me: Go back to sleep, brain.
Brain: *drops accent* Not till we tell Laura, she’s going to want to hear this.
Me: Not at three in the morning.
Brain: Sure she will.
Me: I may not be _good_ at self preservation but I’m pretty sure on this one.
Brain: *pouts*
Me: *sigh* All right, I promise I’ll jot it all down and we can tell her first thing in the morning.
Brain:
Me: Brain?
Brain:
Me: You’re asleep already aren’t you?
Brain: *snores*
Me: Fucker.

Addendum from a few hours later with Laura.

Me: *sighs* My fucking brain.
Her: That’d be a good autobiography title for you.
Me: O.o
Her: *chuckles*

Infodumpy: a “poem”

July 16, 2016 in Art, Silly, Writing

 I blame Dana Baird…

Beware the infodump, my child!
The bits that bore, the facts that fail!
Beware the as-you-know, Bobs
And handwavious exegesis!

Take not the purple pen in hand:
Lest too long the tedious plot be splained —
Then resist the by-the-way asides,
And babble not the it-all-begans.

And hast thou slain the infodump?
Come to my arms pithy child!
O laconic day! Compact! Concise!’
He chortled in his brevity

Dana and I were on this panel at CONvergence and she said “Beware the infodump!” and this has been percolating ever since…

And, yes, I know it doesn’t scan perfectly, but I was trying to keep it brief…

The process that is.

See also: will commit doggerel for food.

Squick and Squee As Cartoon Mice

April 15, 2016 in About Kelly, Kelly Vs. Morning, Silly, Surreal, The Genre

My Brain, a Brief Illustration:

A) This thread needs a mouse saying squick squick squick.

1) Okay, someone with art skill needs to draw an obviously alarmed little mousy saying “Squick! Squick! Squick!”

2) Google tells me that the Squick Mouse is not a thing, and it clearly needs to be.

3) Actually there should probably be a pair of mice like comedy tragedy masks. Squick and Squee for different occasions.

4)…and now I’m picturing the mice Squick and Squee sitting in a theater box commenting on fan fiction plays like Statler and Waldorf at the Muppet show.

My brief career as an internet troll

September 7, 2015 in rant, Silly, Speaking Up

As a middle aged straight white guy, I don’t get trolled on social media very often. But I see it happen to friends all the time. That’s why, when I saw a particular tweet go by from Mary Robinette Kowal, I saw an opportunity to play a twitter game with a friend, and well, you’ll see it below. I think what we ended up with is something that’s more useful than a game.


Mary’s post on the exchange is here. As something of a palate cleanser here’s a picture of Mary and I as best man and matron of honor at the vow renewal for our friends Michael and Lynne Thomas. I don’t know about any of the rest of you, but even briefly playing the troll makes me feel more than a little filthy.

KellyMary

Photo credit Sean Michael Murphy

Belated Friday Cat Blogging

August 8, 2015 in Cat Things, Friday Cat Blogging, Pets and other friends, Sidekicks, Silly

About damn time you woke up thumb-monkey—I want breakfast!

IMG_9522

Dude had a book out, chill. You know he’s not much of a morning monkey.

IMG_9519

Book launch does not mean thumb-monkey gets a pass on his duties.

IMG_9512

I think he should bring us breakfast in bed as penance.

IMG_9492

Man, cats are sooo demanding. Look what he accomplished this week.

IMG_9472

I am not a cat, I am a book rocket. Fly me!

School For Sidekicks: Launch Day

August 4, 2015 in Books, Science, Sidekicks, Silly

My newest book, SCHOOL FOR SIDEKICKS, launches today. Both figuratively and literally…

ETA: The extended rocket launch below the other videos:

More silly launch videos are on the way as soon as we can get them edited, so watch this space. In the meantime, here are a couple of notable reviews for the novel: Kirkus. Publisher’s Weekly, and an excerpt.

If you order before the weekend, you can get a signed and customized copy from Uncle Hugo’s where I will be signing on Saturday, and, of course, the book may be purchased at all the usual venues: Amazon, Barnes And Noble, Indiebound, BAM Powells

Launch Events:

On August 4th at 7pm at the Har Mar Barnes and Noble in Roseville MN, I will be reading and signing.

On August 6th at 3pm EST (2pm CST) I will be doing a reddit Ask Me Anything

On August 8th at 1pm I will be signing books at Uncle Hugo’s in Minneapolis MN. You can order in advance and have me custom sign things and then they will ship them to you, if you’re so inclined.

Also my short story The Totally Secret Origin of Foxman: Excerpts from an EPIC Autobiography, is up at Tor.com where you can read it for FREE! 

Reblog: I Blame John Scalzi

December 8, 2014 in About Kelly, Art, Pets and other friends, Reblogging Project, Silly, Surreal

Updated: This was inspired by Scalzi’s pranking of Wil Wheaton (link below) and perpetrated by my friend James (link in comments) with the support of a rather large cast of unindicted co-conspirators. It is also made of awesome.

Ravirn…on velvet…eviiiiiiiil:

_MG_3498

I see the painting:

IMG_4237

Me and my velvet Ravirn:

IMG_4238

Recreating the Wil Wheaton pose:

_MG_3504
And Scalzi’s original eviiiiiiiiil.

(Originally published on the Wyrdsmiths blog Dec 19 2009, and original comments may be found there. Reposted and reedited as part of the reblogging project)

Retro Comedy Tragedy Feet

December 5, 2014 in Reblogging Project, Silly, Surreal

IMG_4142

IMG_4145

(Originally published on the Wyrdsmiths blog Nov 29 2009, and original comments may be found there. Reposted and reedited as part of the reblogging project)

A Brief Commentary On Time

August 6, 2014 in About Kelly, Laura McCullough, Silly, Surreal

You can learn to flyScreen Shot 2014-08-06 at 9.43.02 AM

1986 Kelly McCullough Plummeting

2012 Kelly McCullough Soaring*

 

__________________________________________________

*You just have to have the right partner—that right picture is a clip from

my annual anniversary shoot with the brilliant and beautiful Laura McCullough

Photo credit 2012 Matt Kuchta. Photo credit 2006 ???????