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I climbed Mount Monkey!
Dude, that’s an awful lot of work…
I climbed Mount Cat Bed…
That is NOT an achievement.
The base of Mount Monkey smells kinda funky…
What kind of moron smells a monkey?
I prefer to use my glasses to perceive them from afar!
Speaking of monkeys, do you have a good ape insurance policy?
Back off man, I’m woodpecker!
Detente through sleep.
Sounds good, wake me up in a few years.
Me too.
I’m going for better living through belly rubs, myself.
I’m just going to crawl back into the egg.
And yes, I know cats don’t hatch. It’s a metaphor, dude.
Is it still electioning out there?
It has never not been electioning and it will never not be electioning.
So, this is hell…
And there are giant death birds here…
As there must be.
Dis how I feel about electioning.
You are not alone.
Soooooo very not alone.
It’s almost Halloween. Time for my famous zombie impression!
No zombiezzzzz, make them go way with crossed paws!
That’s vampires you nincompoop!
There’s a difference?
It is a head scratcher.
So which ones come in pods?
None of them! That’s birds! And they’re called eggs!
Oh, good, I can sleep easy then. Birds are delicious.
What?!?
Do you see what I see?
Yeah, holy shit.
Why didn’t anybody tell me birds came in size hammer drill?
Have you seen my monkey? I can’t find him anywhere.*
No monkeys here, but the feather toy is all MINE!
This is not my monkey. Is he down there?
Monkeys are overrated.
Yes, naps are better than monkeys any day.
I has a monkey, and he loves me.
I would also like to have a monkey, but he is out of reach!
Where oh where is my monkey? Is he hiding under this shirt?
Oh well. If you find my monkey, please tell him to come give me pets.
*With thanks to Matt Kuchta, Mandy Little, and Neil Gaiman for guest kitties.
A Bear and Viking may fall in love, but where would they live?
Is this a riddle?
Practical question.
Well then, Massachusetts. Obviously.
From all the cats here at Chez McCullough,
Congratulations my Favorite Bear and her Viking!*
*For them as don’t know it, I’m referring to Elizabeth Bear and Scott Lynch, who are getting themselves hitched here shortly.
IT TWITTER. I IS SILENT EGG!
I don’t even…
This is my dubious face.
IT STILL TWITTER. ONLY NOW I IS HATCHED!
Is there something wrong with that cat?
She thinks she’s an egg, or a bird, or…something.
So, that’d be a yes.
I like eggs and birds and somethings. They is all delicious!
Bored with twitter now. Going back to napping.
Just take the damn picture and let me get back to sleep.
Like dis!
Even looking at that makes me all yaaaaaaaaaaawnie.
You McCullough cats are super lazy.
So, I’ve been thinking about running for president…
We will totally vote for you!
Wait, was that hive full of angry bees?
We’re in too!
That’s like ten pounds of hen of the woods mushrooms.
Well, actually, mushrooms are known for being informed voters.
Wait, who’s the frog voting for?
Fly, my steed! Run like the wind!
That is soooo undignified. Monkeys were made to bring food, not ride.
Also, you can eat them in case of emergency.
I am intrigued by your ideas. Do you perchance have recipes?
You can’t eat monkeys! They bring the duckies!
Also, as noted above, they make epic mounts!
Who needs a mount when you have this excellent frog launching pad?
Why the hell is there a frog in this story? Cats and caterpillars only, man!
I am skeptical of the caterpillar half of that statement…
On second thought, screw it, you do what you have to. Ima take a nap.
Again, thanks to Matt Kuchta, Mandy Little, Neil Gaiman, and Frogdor the Ribbinator for various guest appearances.