Category: Cat Things

What’s that? Okay, I do it!

I’m touching your head!

This isn’t going to end well.

Naw, he’s got dis in bag. With me. I think…

Exactly, the boot told me to do it.

Dis too.

I’ll boot you!

Is okay, I still love you!

Wait, was that the Shakespeare Signal!

Ooh, I know dis one!

Now is the waiter of our disco tent reindeered glorious jerky!

That boy ain’t right.

Hey, now, my brother is as right as me.

We’re all fine here! FINE!

HEY GURL

I was just leaving!

Excellent, now back to the chase!

Plots have I laid, inductions dangerous…

Oh ghods, wake me when it’s over.

Hey Jeeves, watch me pull a cat out of this basket!

That trick never works.

Depends how many of these you take first.

I am gonna give that boy such a smack…

I like smacks, especially if dey tuna flavors!

Your brother is not the brightest bulb on the tree.

You don’t say.

I like trees! Dey fun to climbs. I wrap my paw arund dem like dis!

That’s it. Ima smack some brains into you.

I like smacks! Bring me da tuna ones. Kay?

It’s like talking to a damn dog, I swear.

Once more unto the beach deer fiend!

No. Just, no.

Or fill dis bucket up with our Catish fud!

What did Shakespeare ever do to you?

Like the bro’s conman; let tea brew & o’erwhelm us

Cry ‘Good old barfy catfud, and stain rugs!’

Mine was better.

Not listening.

Fart, what wind through yonder lighthouse breaks!

Oh no, he’s at it again…

Tis the beast and chariots do run!

Do run, run, do run, run. Or better yet, don’t.

Arise, fair spoon, and scrape this envious dish,

Wake me when it’s over.

It is my jerky, O, it is my nom!

Wait, did you just jump ahead like six lines?

You don’t expect him to start making sense now, do you?

She speaks yet she says nothing: what of that?

Okay, that’s like the actual quote. There’s something wrong here.

Ay me!

Okay, that’s it, you’re done now. Don’t make me come in there…

O, claw again, cat angel! for thou art
vainglorious to this night, being o’er my head

DONE. NOW.

With thanks to Matt and Mandy for the loan of the extra cats.

Tell me a scary story.

How about napping with monsters?

Dat’s pretty scary!

Hold me.

You’ve got to be kidding.

I know what’ll scare her…

You. Corner. Now.

Fine.

You have cheese, monkey, why was I not told about this?

Did someone say Cheese? ‘Cause that’s me!

Jeeves, man, your name is Jeeves.

Oh. I sad now. I gets no cheese.

Nobody said that. They said your name wasn’t…oh never mind.

Did someone say cheese? Monkey steed, take me to this wonder!

With thanks to Victor and Lynne for the rider.

Dis cat storage, right?

One does NOT store a cat!*

Dis cat ready for storage. Nice, cozzzzzzzz

I now do my interpretative dance of storage.
I gots wrapping paper and everything!

I can reach you from here. ALL of you.

*With thanks to Kim and Jonny for the likeness of His Imperial Kittiness the mighty Diphthong O’Malley

I am totally comfortable.

Of course you are.

And not even a little bit stuck. Right?

I iz never stuck!

He said from the pit he just fell into behind the buckets…

I totally meant to do that. And the thing with the slats.

Of course you did.

Why does nobody believe I can take care of myself?

That’s a rhetorical question, right?

Absolutely. Also, I totally know what rhetoricaciousness is.

Hey, Brain, what do you want to do tonight?

What we do every night, Pinkie, plot to take over the WORLD!

You’re not serious?

I am made entirely of serious!

Me too, narf!

Well, I’m going to plot to tip over this jar of honey.

Not cool, dude, I know where the jar came from.

Why am I surrounded by naysayers and idiots?

Ima guess it’s because you don’t have a really cool box like dis.

Whatevvvvver, I don’t need no stinkin’ box.

I’m fine on these bare boards.

Really.

With thanks to  @TheBarbarienne for the suggestion of “Monday Meows.”