Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Woodpecker.

Woodpecker who?

What part of woodpecker don’t you understand?

Please don’t get him started.

I implore you, don’t!

That way lies madness.

Truth. Bitter, dark, truth.

Hey now, lay off my brother.

Yeah, lay off…wait, is that me? I’m still hung up on “woodpecker”

With thanks to Matt, Mandy, and Neil for spare cats.