Hold still…there’s a bug on your face
And that’s how I learned to teleport.
Ooh, can you show me how to do that?
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First you must learn how to planck…
Ooh, I saw what you did there, and it was quantifiably terrible.
Author: Kelly McCullough
Kelly McCullough writes fantasy, science fiction, and books for kids of varying ages. He lives in Wisconsin with his physics professor wife and a small herd of cats. His novels include Numismancer, Winter of Discontent, the WebMage and Fallen Blade series — Penguin/ACE, School for Sidekicks, Magic, Madness, and Mischief, and Spirits, Spells, and Snark — Feiwel and Friends/Macmillan. His short fiction has appeared in numerous magazines and anthologies. He has Patreon and Ko-fi pages for those who are interested in supporting his work more directly.
He also dabbles in science fiction as science education with The Chronicles of the Wandering Star — part of an NSF-funded science curriculum — and the science comic Hanny & the Mystery of the Voorwerp, which he co-authored and co-edited — funding provided by NASA and the Hubble Space Telescope. Kelly on Twitter, Facebook, G+, ello
Monday Meows
I am dark and mysterious! A born leading ma—er…cat.
Sure, lets go with that…
I’m more of waiting for Catdot, isn’t that right Estragon?
I’ll just be over here paying you all the attention you deserve.
Monday Meows
I think we may have a hellmouth here!
Ooh, I’ll be right there!
I’m not so sure about this…
Toast…I think I smell toast. Hell reeks of toast…
You’re literally sitting on a toaster…
Yeah…wake me if any demons show up, dudes.
Monday Meows
Looks like a good day for a lie in.
Can’t hear you, sleeping.
I don’t even have the energy to lift my head.
DO NONE OF YOU IDIOTS UNDERSTAND THERE’S A BIRD! RIGHT THERE!
Monday Meows
*sings* I’m am defying gravity!
Yeah, well, I’m defying this giant pile of gloves.
Why are you defying gloves?
Somebody has to!
He actually has a point. A dumb point, but a point nonetheless.
Monday Meows
I touch your head!
What if I touch yours back, orangie-boi?
As long as you get the right…spot…YEAH THERE, RIGHT THERE!
I HAVE A BOX!
Yeah, while I am about to give you another one…this time to the ears!
I’ll take “what is a non sequitur for 500, Alex.”
Monday Meows
How about we just take it easy this week?
My chance to seize power has arrived! BWA-HA-HA!
Yeah, seize away, know yourself out. They won’t even let you order pizza.
To be fair you, wanted pineapple and herring, and that is NOT okay.
You want power, little one, come and try to take it!
This is going to end well…
Monday Meows
Today’s cat blog brought to you by…
A whole different crew!
Hey, I didn’t sign up for this…
Just be glad you didn’t get cast opposite the velicoraptor!
The what now?
No, Mister Bond, I expect you to die!
Ooh, this is going to be AWESOME!
Monday Meows
We meet at last, Mister Wooster! And your precious Jeeves won’t save you!
Yeah, now tell me something I don’t know.
Well, the square root of a negative number…
Funny because it’s true.
Monday Meows
Who knows what ebils lurk in the darkness of the fridge!?
Oh, honey…
That’s the cat you’ve chosen to apprentice yourself to, orange boi!
Whatevs, I’m just learning his photogenic ways for my own…purposes.
THE JEEBSO KNOWS!
I am too cute and too smart to hang out with these losers…yet here I am.
