Author
I haz an existential dilemma—whether tis nobler in the mind—
Yawn! Yer, killing me here. Make sense. Or, at least, be interesting.
Did somebody say “existential dilemma”? because that totally…
Sorry, got distracted by my ribcage. You were…nevermind. Don’t care.
My existential dilemma is no thumbs and the door’s shut.
I am extremely dubious about today.
Me too.
Yeah, today’s iffy.
We can all hide in here.
Dubious too, but sun…
I’m ready for my turkey!
I too am ready for turkey. GIVE ME TURKEY
I AM NOT A TURKEY
Not funny thumb-monkey. I want a REAL turkey.
Don’t make me hurt you. Just hand over the bird.
TURKEY TURKEY TURKEY
Who needs turkey when you’ve got slippers and straight tryptophan.
Still prefer my tryptophan in turkey format. Food coma in 3.2.zzzzzzzzz
Hey, thumb-monkey, I told you not to publish that pic. Have a different bird!
I climbed Mount Monkey!
Dude, that’s an awful lot of work…
I climbed Mount Cat Bed…
That is NOT an achievement.
The base of Mount Monkey smells kinda funky…
What kind of moron smells a monkey?
I prefer to use my glasses to perceive them from afar!
Speaking of monkeys, do you have a good ape insurance policy?
Back off man, I’m woodpecker!
Forget write what you know, write what you love. Find the things that make you WANT to write and cling to them like a life line. You will never succeed writing things that you hate. You may not succeed writing what you love either, but you will have spent time on a thing that matters to you and that’s always worthwhile.
Detente through sleep.
Sounds good, wake me up in a few years.
Me too.
I’m going for better living through belly rubs, myself.
I’m just going to crawl back into the egg.
And yes, I know cats don’t hatch. It’s a metaphor, dude.
Is it still electioning out there?
It has never not been electioning and it will never not be electioning.
So, this is hell…
And there are giant death birds here…
As there must be.
Dis how I feel about electioning.
You are not alone.
Soooooo very not alone.
It’s almost Halloween. Time for my famous zombie impression!
No zombiezzzzz, make them go way with crossed paws!
That’s vampires you nincompoop!
There’s a difference?
It is a head scratcher.
So which ones come in pods?
None of them! That’s birds! And they’re called eggs!
Oh, good, I can sleep easy then. Birds are delicious.
What?!?
Do you see what I see?
Yeah, holy shit.
Why didn’t anybody tell me birds came in size hammer drill?
Have you seen my monkey? I can’t find him anywhere.*
No monkeys here, but the feather toy is all MINE!
This is not my monkey. Is he down there?
Monkeys are overrated.
Yes, naps are better than monkeys any day.
I has a monkey, and he loves me.
I would also like to have a monkey, but he is out of reach!
Where oh where is my monkey? Is he hiding under this shirt?
Oh well. If you find my monkey, please tell him to come give me pets.
*With thanks to Matt Kuchta, Mandy Little, and Neil Gaiman for guest kitties.