Category: Cat Things

Look, I iz a fuds!

I like fuds.

Did somebody says “fuds”?

You know, it’s possible I didn’t think that…mmm, yogurt.

Oh, my brother, I do worry about you.

Vegetables, why did it have to be vegetables?*

Dude, that’s just gross.

I am judging your kitchen choices.

We hides from the veggie face. It burns us.

Screw vegetables, tonight I dine on tail!

I think you’re going to regret your life choices…

*Thanks Kim for guest kitty Diphthong O’Malley

What do “highly caffeinated” mean?

Oh ghods.

Hold me.

This again? I shall be in fortress.

Who needs a fortress when you’ve got monkey knees.

You haz fuds. I like fuds!

I can’t believe I ate the whole thing…

He’ll live. He might not enjoy it, but he’ll live.

 

 

 

 

 

How do I know I don’t like olives if you won’t let me try them?

Because you’re a cat. And it’s beneath your dignity. Obviously.

Don’t be so sure of that.

Hey, I’m the picture of dignity!

What are a cat?

You are all an embarrassment!

Whatever, lady, I’ve got gaps to leap, people to see. Cars to steal.

Cars to steal?

Yes, let me show you it.

Dis one.

OOOH, WANT!

Having defeated an entire pack of swimsuits, I sleep at peace.

Swimsuits, huh? You’re not tough till you’ve handled children’s toys.

There is something seriously wrong with both of you.

Conference clothes are the only true prey for a feline murder beast.

Hah! I kill entire posts with my mighty floofs!

There is really something wrong with them.

You may have a point, my brother.

Because the foofy orange caterpillar of death is the perfect prey!

I’m honestly sorry I started this whole thing. I retreat to my castle.

Iz tired, dis totally comfortable, I swearz!

Yeah, not only do I not believe you, neither do you. Dis comfortable.

No, dis!

Amateurs.

Look what gramma got us!

 

 

Guys, I’m a little bit uncertain about change, Ima be over here.

Arrrrr! I is Boudicca the bold brave queen of the climby thing!

For now, dear, for now.

Me and my conflict averse butt will be over here.

You’re not my real monkey aaaand you didn’t bring me a climby thing.

Homph!*

*Diphthong O’Malley courtesy of Kim and Jonny

Did somebody mail order a box of condensed evil?

That would be me.

By the floofing of my tail something wicked this way mail.

How about a box of goofball?

I can work with that too.

Excellent.

Call me Fishmeal!

Oh, ghods and monsters, he’s off again.

Serval ears ago – never mind how long prehensily

To be fair, he’s always off.

Says the cat carrying on a romance with a garden sculpture…

Having little or no money to parse, and noting particular interest in shore

Okay, you might have a point there.

Shuts I’z recitins!

Sadly, yes.

I thinked I’d sails about a little to see the whatevery parts of the world.

It’s like a train wreck, but without the cute bits.

Tis a way I haz of driving off the spleen—bad spleen, go wayz—

Also it regulates the circumcision.

I don’t think that word means what you think it means.

Whatvers. I finds self growing grime about the mouth in a…

damp, drizzly November of the soul

Okay, that’s it. You’re done. Everyone can go home now. Bye.

Nothing. No reason. Why do people keep asking about “evil” plans?

Surely, you can’t be serious.*

She’s a tortie, we are always serious, and don’t call us Shirley.*

Really. That’s the line you’re going with?**

Define “evil”, because I’m a little hazy on the whole good/evil thing.

Imagine every atom in your body exploding outward at the speed of light.

No, silly, that’s good/bad.*

I’m bad, I’m bad come on. You know I’m bad!

And, with that communique from Planet Jeeves, we conclude our broadcast.

 

*Extra (super-adoptable) kitties via Tabby’s Catfe

**Except for this dude. Bob Meowerly got his forever home already.