Human: *Wakes up, listens* “Cat, what are you doing?”
Cat: “Cat things.”
Cat: “Why do you ask?”
Cat: “Nothing. No Reason. I never laid a claw on that rug, I mean…meow?”
Cat: “Screw you thumb-monkey!”
Cat: “I am doing the traditional dance of my people and you’re oppressing me!”
Cat: *ominous silence*
Cat: “If I tell you I’m going to have to kill you. Do you still want to know?”
Cat: “Whose asking, copper?”
Cat: “I’m afraid fluffy is not at home right now, if you’d like to leave a message please fuck off after the ‘meow.'”
Cat: “Teaching this bat how to sing.”
Cat: “Have you ever really looked at your jingle ball?”
Cat: “Duuuuuude, I totally found the catnip.” *giggles*
Cat: “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”