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Monkey, I’m not in the sun. Move me.
Srsly? That’s lazy even by cat standards.
Hey, learning to levitate is suuuper tiring. Back off!
I can “levitate” too. See.
What is wrong with you cats? You’re embarrassing the species.
Oh, the drama! Oh woe! Oh wurra!
I’m rolling my eyes. Can you see me rolling my eyes?
I can.
Who the hell are you?
Just a squirrel on a porch swing, hangin’
I know what to with squirrels. Get in my mouf.
That’s it. I’m out of here.
Four cats can get along in a small space if one of them is concrete.
Did you just call me stoned?
I hate you so much.
I hate squirrels.
I’m a squirrel. Don’t hate me because I’m adorable and you’re a cat.
I summon the dark forces of feline angst to smite thee, red one.
Want to see a joke? It’s really funny. Watch!
I gave her the tuna kit. Hee!
That’s cruel.
And NOT funny.
Knocked me ded.
I thought it was funny.
You are WRONG! Not getting tuna is NEVER funny.
Forget the jokes, how do I get da fissies?
Guest cats by M&M and N.
You’re not my real monkey and I don’t have to do a thing you say.
True, but it might have food!
Food is good.
Food is insufficient reason to acquiesce to monkey hegemony.
I don’t know monkey hegemony is working okay for me so far…
Monkey hegemony is boring. Really really really boring.
But it comes with BELLY RUBS! So, is all okay, yes?
With thanks to the usual suspects for letting me put words in the mouths of their cats. See also: Matt, Mandy, Neil.
Plotting to get someone else to take over the world for me.
That seems like a lot of steps…
You don’t expect me to do any of the actual work myself, do you?
Good point, world conquest is a lot of work.
And work makes me all zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
That’s why the towelphants will win in the end!
We have their king, soon we will rule the world of cats!
I think you may be confusing cats with underpants gnomes…
There’s a difference?
You’re not serious, right?
Nope, I’m a hummingbird!
You know what will clear that right up?
This!
Now, THAT’S cat humor!
INORITE!?!
Box therapy.
So, tell me how that makes you feel.
Like a fox.
All fluffy and eeeeeeebil!
It makes me feel like a bridge over troubled monkeys.
Let me tell you about my parents…
Ahhhhhhh, I’m about to be eaten by a monkey!
You must chill.
Like a snow machine.
Totally!
Easy for you to say, you’re a mushroom.
Talking mushrooms…I’m out.
Friends, Monkey, Country Cats, lend me your oranges!
You’re deeelicious oranges.
This has been a random squirrel interlude, do not adjust your sets.
OMFSM, did you see that?!?
What?
The mark of the cookie zombie!
Dude, that’s just a butterfly…
That’s what you say now, but when the moon is full and the mild cold…
Bam!
Worst ghost story ever.
