Do you want to see the back half of a cat?
No, absolutely not.
Then you get front half with a blep!
I’m surrounded by idicats!
Zzzzzzzzzzzz
Author: Kelly McCullough
Kelly McCullough writes fantasy, science fiction, and books for kids of varying ages. He lives in Wisconsin with his physics professor wife and a small herd of cats. His novels include Numismancer, Winter of Discontent, the WebMage and Fallen Blade series — Penguin/ACE, School for Sidekicks, Magic, Madness, and Mischief, and Spirits, Spells, and Snark — Feiwel and Friends/Macmillan. His short fiction has appeared in numerous magazines and anthologies. He has Patreon and Ko-fi pages for those who are interested in supporting his work more directly.
He also dabbles in science fiction as science education with The Chronicles of the Wandering Star — part of an NSF-funded science curriculum — and the science comic Hanny & the Mystery of the Voorwerp, which he co-authored and co-edited — funding provided by NASA and the Hubble Space Telescope. Kelly on Twitter, Facebook, G+, ello
Monday Meows
Look at me!
The fuck was that?!
Birb! Really big birb.
I’z hidin’ so it no eats me.
Chill, my dude, iz not that kind of birb.
Okay then, nap party over here!
Monday Meows
Hold it still so I can hit it!
Yeah, I’ll get right on that. Zzzzzzzz
But what if it’s a…squirrel?!
Don’ mess with skwirl, man, they rip you up.
Monday Meows
Toed you so!
The hell?
Back of cat says what?
Wut?
I’ll just be over here with the saner members of the household.
Monday Meows
Monkey, there is a BIRD in the eaves. DO SOMETHING!
Wait, are we complaining to management again? My pillow need fluffin.
Also, I’d like someone to turn up the sun again, it’s fading.
I just feel cold and alone. Fix pleaz?
Monday Meows
Backup on the 35!
I hate summer traffic!
………………………………Says the tailgater!
C. A. T. Not, C. A. R. Get a grip.
I grips head with ear! Iz good, yaz?
Y’all sort it out without me.
Monday Meows
I’z not ket, i’z pillow.
What the hell? You’re not bringing another one home are you?
Chill, it’s always guest cat season. Only worry if you recognize background.
I recognize soup!
Why do I always feel like I have no idea what’s going on around here?
Monday Meows
Do you hear that sound?
It’s the fruit flies buzzing around in your big empty skull.
I have fruit flies in my head?!
Of course, what did you think that buzzing was?
That’s just mean. You know he’s going to believe you.
Mean, yes. True, maybe. Funny? Well, that’s in the eye of the beholder.
Monday Meows
So, I couldn’t find a soapbox, but I’m not about to let that stop me.
Speech?
Speech.
Wake me up when she’s done.
Monday Meows
A way out here they have a name for rain and wind and fire…
Is it…Bob?
There is something wrong with the boy.
I got this.
