Iz Sleeps Day
I’m in. We’re competing, right?
Six eight from the feline judge.
Monday Meows
Author: Kelly McCullough
Kelly McCullough writes fantasy, science fiction, and books for kids of varying ages. He lives in Wisconsin with his physics professor wife and a small herd of cats. His novels include Numismancer, Winter of Discontent, the WebMage and Fallen Blade series — Penguin/ACE, School for Sidekicks, Magic, Madness, and Mischief, and Spirits, Spells, and Snark — Feiwel and Friends/Macmillan. His short fiction has appeared in numerous magazines and anthologies. He has Patreon and Ko-fi pages for those who are interested in supporting his work more directly.
He also dabbles in science fiction as science education with The Chronicles of the Wandering Star — part of an NSF-funded science curriculum — and the science comic Hanny & the Mystery of the Voorwerp, which he co-authored and co-edited — funding provided by NASA and the Hubble Space Telescope. Kelly on Twitter, Facebook, G+, ello
Lost Blade*
#1#
I was lost in amber like an insect slowly drowning in the fresh spilled blood of a mountain pine. Tilting my glass slowly back and forth I watched the whisky swirl, slow and sweet, not as sticky as the sap that pulsed through a dryad’s veins, but every bit as dangerous. At least for me.
I had climbed out of the bottle once, years ago—put my drinking behind me and shaped myself into someone I could be proud of again. A champion of justice, a slayer of kings, a monster who killed worse monsters. Blood. I had spilled my share and more, so very very much more.
My name is Aral and I am, or was, a Blade of Justice. I thought I knew who I was and what I was and where I needed to go, but now I’m not so sure.
*I started poking at this today. Not sure if I’ll continue, but it feels like it might be time.
MONDAY MEOWS
NONE SHALL PASS WE HAVE NUNS NOW? WHO KNEW? I CAN SEE YOU FROM HERE? YOU KNOW THAT RIGHT? NOT LISTENING! WAIT, WE’RE NUNS NOW? I HATE IT WHEN I MISS THE MEETING
Monday Meows
Dis quarantine stuff is getting old, my battery died.
So, recharge it.
You can DO THAT? I have wasted so much money on new phones…
I’m not listening!
Would you all shut up, dis my favorite show! It’s got the bald guy.
Monday Meows
I am Boudica, all shall love me and despair!
I thought it was pronounced, Boa-Day-Chia, like the pet.
In her case it’s probably Boo-Dick-Ka, like the giant snake.
I like Boo-Dick-Ka, it’s one of my favorite dishes! …what?
Monday RoMeow And Juliet
Not soft, what cake through yonder window breaks?
Oh ghods…here we go again
Tis the fruit and duly soaked in rum
What did Shakespeare ever do to you?
Arise, fair yeast, and fluff the envious bread!
I kind of like dis one…is my young mind getting moldy?
Tis fat and ready to butter and grease!
It’ll be over soon, right?
But thou, old maid, art far more loaf than she.
That’s it, you’re done!
Monday Meows
Hep, hep, I’z trapped! I’z being oppressed!
Did you hear something that sounded like a kitten?
Nope.
And neither did you. Not if you know what’s good for you.
‘s okay?
‘s all right.
F***ing catnip dreams.
Monday Meows
Every time I count, I come up with an extra foot…
Oh, honey…
Just let it go.
I think I can get out of here this way…
Why everybody so weird, I sleeps now.
Monday Meows Shakespearean Edition
I come not to curry Caesar but to braise him
You what the who now?
The salad that cats dish lives after them.
The hell…
The broth is best infused with the bones
Wake me when it’s over.
So let it steep with Caesar.
He ain’t clever, he’s my brother.
The noble Brutus hath told you Caesar was delicious!
Shut up and say, goodnight, Gracie.
Goodnight Gracie?
Monday Meows May The 4th Be With You
May the 4th be with you!
Live long and pawsper!
Wrong franchise, dudette.
I Jedi, see my robez!
Taste the force!
What does that even mean?
Halp, I iz trapped in a trash compactor!
Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.
Soon, my apprentice you will belong to me!
