I string, you string, we all string for icetring!
That is NOT how that goes.
I box, you box…
Still no.
Author: Kelly McCullough
Kelly McCullough writes fantasy, science fiction, and books for kids of varying ages. He lives in Wisconsin with his physics professor wife and a small herd of cats. His novels include Numismancer, Winter of Discontent, the WebMage and Fallen Blade series — Penguin/ACE, School for Sidekicks, Magic, Madness, and Mischief, and Spirits, Spells, and Snark — Feiwel and Friends/Macmillan. His short fiction has appeared in numerous magazines and anthologies. He has Patreon and Ko-fi pages for those who are interested in supporting his work more directly.
He also dabbles in science fiction as science education with The Chronicles of the Wandering Star — part of an NSF-funded science curriculum — and the science comic Hanny & the Mystery of the Voorwerp, which he co-authored and co-edited — funding provided by NASA and the Hubble Space Telescope. Kelly on Twitter, Facebook, G+, ello
Monday Meows
Monkeys always use deez, am baiting skritch trap.
You get skritches, I get deir ankles!
This will not end well.
True, but don’t you want to watch the train wreck?
Well, yeah…
Monday Meows
Hep! Is being eated by bed!
Can’t hep, eated by box.
Can veryfy, hez eated by box.
Yeah, I’ll get right on that rescue attempt.
Dat’s funny ’cause it’s a lie.
Monday Meows
Do these headphones make me look sophisticated?
What the dog is that?!
Bad judgement is what that is.
I like bad judgement, it tastes like my face.
Sometimes I wonder about my siblings.
Monday Meows
Have you ever considered the benefits of litter insurance?
OFFS!
Did he just say _litter_ insurance?
That is soooooo not okay.
Tell me more about this litter insurance…I would like to subscribe to your podcast.
Monday Meows
I seem to have been shelved in the video game section.
I have been shelved under blanket, and I’m okay with that.
I can be monkey and reshelve you as soon as I learn how to operate pants.
Say what now?
Monday Meows
Alas, I cannot make the meeting today, I haz the sleeps.
Woe, I too haz the sleeps.
The sleeps, they is catchulating.
If I have to go, all you jokers have to go too. We have quorum to meet.
I hate meetings and move we adjourn. Seconds?
Monday Meows
These are the times that try cats soles!
What is he on about?
Summer soldier and sunshine catriots will shrink from the icy deck.
Yep. It’s still fucking cold out there.
Winter, like hell, is not easily conquered…
Wait, is he saying that the monkeys opened the porch up?
Yeppers.
TO THE PORCH!
It’s heat wave, it’s a tropical heat wave…
I think I’ll wait.
Monday Meows
I think I may be developing a drinking problem—no thumbs.
Get the thumb-monkey to do it. That’s what they’re named for.
I be thumb-monkey! Just as soon as I figures out dese pants things!
I have the weirdest damned family.
Monday Meows
What is best in life?
Thanksgiving in a turkey eat dog world!
What that actual hell?
They shouldn’t ought to make birbs that big!
True, but back to my original question. Life. Best. What?
Guy Fawkes Day American Style.
There is something seriously wrong with you people.
Technically, we’re cats. Well, except for the dog, the turkey, the traitor, his cook, and her mother.
I think we’re losing the thread here.
I like thread! But what’s best…
Is to lie on one’s monkey and hear the lamentations of the cats farther away.
Lamentations. Lamentations. Lamentations.
