Dear Feline Collective Follow-Up

Re: ugly development in lapsharing negotiations.

It has come to management’s attention that already today the writer-in-residence has twice had, not one, but two cats taking up valuable lap space normally devoted to the means of writerly production (see laptop, Apple iBook G4).

Further it has come to management’s attention that resolution of which cat retained possession of said lap was resolved through hissing and intimidation. Once, blows were even exchanged. This is simply not acceptable and may actually result in demonstration by writer-in-residence that despite normal dominance protocols, writer-in-residence is in fact a larger predator, one who outweighs said cats by an order of magnitude.

Please take note of the fact that despite being a Cat Softie, with a capital CS, writer-in-residence has a very limited patience for anything that involves potential bleeding, and adjust your negotiating strategies accordingly.

Thank you,
The management

2013 P.S. The comment threads on the original versions of these posts have some really funny responses. See below for links.

(Originally published on the Wyrdsmiths blog February 1 2008, and original comments may be found there. Reposted and reedited as part of the reblogging project)