Monday Mes (1 time only, not a typo)

August 13, 2019 in About Kelly, Kelly Vs. Morning, Surreal

So, yesterday was my birthday, which means I didn’t do anything that looked like work, including Monday Meows (hangs head in shame). I did however dig out and photograph all my old IDs from 7th grade on and post those on Facebook. Because, why not? Here they are again in space I control better, now with added captions. Hopefully you will find them moderately entertaining and not complain too bitterly about missing out on my infinitely more adorable cats for a week.

OMFSM, I was sooo leeeetle.

It’s possible I’ve never been good at mornings…

Holy puberty, Batman. (I grew 9 inches in 3 month over the summer)

Look, ma, I’m a belated hippie.

Screw that peace and love stuff, the time for revolution is now!

Paging Mr Rasputin…

My hair, it’s making a break for it!

Maybe if I lean a little to my right I can get out of this picture…

I think I will call my new look “pirate punk” (I’m wearing a sash)

Why yes, I did just drive 14 hours overnight to get here, why do you ask?

Screw it, I’m tired of my hair trying to live on its own.

Hey, I think I’m just going to quit aging now.

Yeah, that’s it, I’m done, aging is boring.

Why do people keep asking me about a picture in the attic?

That portrait is _really_ is starting to look a little tattered.*

Last three photos are taken in 2003, 2011, and 2019

 

Me And My Creative Brain: A Dialogue.

September 26, 2016 in About Kelly, Kelly Vs. Morning, Silly

Brain: Ooh ooh ooh!
Me: What? It’s three in the morning.
Brain: I figured out the whole unicorn thing.
Me: What? The? Hell?
Brain: No, it’s great.
Me: It’s not great, it’s three in the morning.
Brain: No, I’ve got this.
Me: All right, It’s obvious you won’t let me sleep. Tell me.
Brain: *assuming an erudite English accent* It’s the equinox!
Me: …the hell.
Brain: *in accent* You see, the mistake is easy. Vernal instead of virginal. Right?
Me: *blinking* Not sure where you’re going with this…
Brain: *in accent* And equinox. Equi meaning center and nox…well, it doesn’t mean horn, but it sounds like ox and oxes have horns. Easy mistake.
Me: *in accent* First, it’s oxen…oh gods, now I’m doing it.
Brain: *in accent* See! It makes perfect sense. Vernal equinox and virginal unicorns.
Me: Go back to sleep, brain.
Brain: *drops accent* Not till we tell Laura, she’s going to want to hear this.
Me: Not at three in the morning.
Brain: Sure she will.
Me: I may not be _good_ at self preservation but I’m pretty sure on this one.
Brain: *pouts*
Me: *sigh* All right, I promise I’ll jot it all down and we can tell her first thing in the morning.
Brain:
Me: Brain?
Brain:
Me: You’re asleep already aren’t you?
Brain: *snores*
Me: Fucker.

Addendum from a few hours later with Laura.

Me: *sighs* My fucking brain.
Her: That’d be a good autobiography title for you.
Me: O.o
Her: *chuckles*

Squick and Squee As Cartoon Mice

April 15, 2016 in About Kelly, Kelly Vs. Morning, Silly, Surreal, The Genre

My Brain, a Brief Illustration:

A) This thread needs a mouse saying squick squick squick.

1) Okay, someone with art skill needs to draw an obviously alarmed little mousy saying “Squick! Squick! Squick!”

2) Google tells me that the Squick Mouse is not a thing, and it clearly needs to be.

3) Actually there should probably be a pair of mice like comedy tragedy masks. Squick and Squee for different occasions.

4)…and now I’m picturing the mice Squick and Squee sitting in a theater box commenting on fan fiction plays like Statler and Waldorf at the Muppet show.

Kelly Vs. Morning

December 2, 2013 in About Kelly, Kelly Vs. Morning, Silly

Episode one: The Cat Food Contaminant.

We’ve been trying to put some weight on Meglet, our tiny black and white cat who has kidney issues. As a part of this effort we’ve been feeding her canned food as often as she wants it (KD). The best tool to get the wet food out of the can without making too much of a mess is a butter knife. So, there’s often been a cat food knife sitting on the edge of the sink.

I generally have a wrap of some sort for breakfast. This usually includes me slicing a few pieces of cheese and throwing it into a tortilla with meat or eggs. When I do this I will often have a a few pieces of cheese on their own.

About two weeks ago, I was making breakfast and had two or three slices of cheese. As I was eating I noticed that the smoked cheddar I had just opened had an unusual spicy/tangy note to it. Quite good, actually. Since it’s a processed cheese, I just assumed that they’d changed their process slightly and thought nothing of it.

A couple of hours after that, when I was actually awake, I wandered downstairs to refresh my tea and Meglet started begging for wet food. That’s when I noticed the cheese stains on the cat food knife and figured out what the unusual spice must have been…