Kelly McCullough

Do you ever feel boxed in?

He knows he’s literally in a box right?

There’s nothing wrong with being in a box.

Or, like, existentially exploring the concept of boxness without sides.

I have no box and I cannot cat.

 

 

I dress dark on the outside because it’s dark in my insides.

I feel that she got that wrong. May I get a ruling from the chair?

No. The chair is MINE!

Damn guest cat interruptions. Can we get a ruling from our chair?

We’ve tried, but it refuses to talk.

I am ruling the carpet! That’s like a chair, right? Guys? Guys?

Guys, if we figure out how to operate these we conquer the world!

Who was that?!

STRANGER!

Stranger than me?

Dude, nothing is stranger than you.

Dudes…have you ever really looked for your paw? I mean…really?

This cell will never hold me copper!

Does anyone want to explain to him that he’s on the outside?

Napping here.

Look at that plasterwork…

If I wanted to talk to anyone I wouldn’t be hiding in this tunnel.

*singing* Cousins, we’re identical cousins…

…the everloving hell?!

I can never unsee that…

You think it was traumatic for you…? Try being me.

That’s a taste you can’t get out of your mouth.

I actually think do kind of look alike…from this perspective.

This special episode of bonus pets brought to you by…ME ME ME!

That was a mother fluffin’ dawg!

What Are Dawg?

It starts with D and the rhymes with T and the stands for TROUBLE.

Yeah, trouble is my middle…my middle! Rub my middle!

Prepare to fire port side cannons, me hearties!

I think he may be taking his black beard a little too seriously.

Yeah, he does that. Look at the boat he cast me adrift in.

Is this a spider I see before me, it’s mandibles toward my paw?

Yeparoo! I am spider QUEEN!

Srsly? That thing is like the size of my pinky claw…tip. Chillax.

Hokay. Gzzzzzznorkzzzzzzz

Now you know why I sleep on another floor.

You are, each and every one of you, very very strange.

DRAMATIC ANGLE IS DRAMATIC

Chill my dudes. What’s that even about?

It’s all about the nip, ’bout the nip…

Cactus nip?

Y’all, I just cannot.

You’re not alone.

…I’m not?! Is it my tail again?

‘Bout the nip, ’bout the nip…

I have you now, my pretty, and your little orange tail too!

OMFSM, is Oddgrr doomed?!

Srsly? I just slipped out the back, Jack.

MAGIC!

Idiots. I’m surrounded by idiots. This will be fixed when I’m in charge.

Am I a cat thinking I’m a blanket thinking I’m a pillow, or…

Philosophy always makes me sleepy.

That’s not philosophy, he really doesn’t know.

Did somebody say Sun Tzu?

What did I do in a previous life to deserve these bozos. Sigh.